Resolve to Know More



This week is National Infertility Awareness Week.  It’s amazing how many people, along our journey, have asked us, “what is that?” when we tell them we are going through IVF.  As a couple who has spent the last decade researching the subject of infertility to the point of knowing (or, at least, feeling like we do) as much as the RE sitting on the other side of the desk, we have to remind ourselves that the majority still does not know the ins and outs of this epidemic.

A couple of years ago, while driving home from work, I was listening to an interview on NPR.  The interviewee was a man who was speaking about insurance coverage for fertility treatments.  I am so lucky I was at the stoplight when he said these words:

“Parenthood is an option, not a right…”

I had and have never wanted so bad to be able to reach into the stereo and pull that guy out by his ears so that I could sit him down and tell him a little story about what happens when the choice of becoming a parent the old-fashioned way has been taken away from you.  It’s ignorance such as what I heard coming out of my car’s speakers that reminds me that society, on a whole, still has no clue.  Even with all of the blogs, and the advocacy, and the grassroots efforts, people are still turning their eyes, ears and hearts away from those of us who are either silently or loudly dealing with infertility.

I’ve heard several reasons why fertility treatments shouldn’t be covered:

It would increase the population (no, not any more than if we were able to get pregnant by ourselves, and definitely not any more than the major efforts made to make birth control available to everyone).

If it wasn’t meant to be, you shouldn’t force it (how do you know it wasn’t meant to be?  Does my heart breaking after every failed attempt mean it wasn’t meant to be?)

Why should we (the insurance payers) have to pay for your treatments? (Why should I have to pay for your cholesterol and high blood pressure, and COPD?  Because that’s how insurance works, my friend…I pay for you, you pay for me; we both pay for the uninsured)

So, my dear readers, all of that is why I started the Facebook Page, and why I continue this blog.  It’s not so much for the naysayers, because they are going to naysay their little heart out no matter what.  No, this is for all of you who have followed us on this journey (and those who are just jumping on this crazy train) who have cheered us on, even when you don’t know exactly what we’re going through.  It’s for those who aren’t scared to ask the questions when you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.  And, it’s for those of you who, no matter what, are keeping us in your thoughts, your prayers, and your hearts.

❤ Heather

P.S. – For more information, please check out these links:



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