I went to a blog that was suggested because blogs I follow are following it. The very first post I read ended with a quote from someone who has always had my deepest respect (of course, we’re from the same hometown, so that could be the cause of my favoritism). I wanted to share it here on my blog because, not only is Laura Bush a super classy lady, but she is able to put into words one of the most profound feelings in my life…the feeling of something missing.
“The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?” – Laura Bush, Spoken From The Heart
It’s true. I spoke earlier this week about my Bucket List, and how, with everything that I have accomplished, there is still one thing left on my bucket list. The feeling of completeness that I seek is overwhelming at times. There are moments where I felt like I was just existing, and that’s it. No real contribution to the world, just taking up space.
Now that our second (hundredth?) chance is in the very near future (Sunday!), I’ve recently been wondering, what do I do once we’ve succeeded? Will I truly feel complete, or will I still be seeking something? What will I do once this, the most greatest accomplishment, is checked off my bucket list?
My only answer is this: Fold up the completed bucket list, toast the successes it holds, and make another list. It will most likely only have two main items to check off…to be the best Mother I can be…and to be the best Wife I can be.